A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
