So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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