3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
