im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
