You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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