I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
