just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
