You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
