So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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