Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
