Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
