You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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