I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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