you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
