when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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