They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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