oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
