Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
