doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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