Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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