obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
