I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
How does it feel to date your dad?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
