Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize