The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
