first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
