on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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