she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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