did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
