it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
