Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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