he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
