We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Drunk is a universal language darling
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
