Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
