But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he fucked my hip out of place.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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