"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
