: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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