Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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