I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
