thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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