i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
