so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
