Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
