Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
