sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
