whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
