I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
