Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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