Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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