But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
