Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
