it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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