Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
