my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
