i may or may not be watching the land before time
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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