He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
