Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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