actually, I'm a sock model
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
