At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
