I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
people are starting to question the shark bite story
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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