I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
