Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
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